We hear a lot about having your children at a younger age. What that age might be different in cultures. In some cultures, girls are expected to become partners in their teens. But pregnancy is not mothering. In many western nations, it is not uncommon to find women waiting for their late twenties or after their career path is well defined, to become pregnant.
Not surprisingly, Research in Denmark leans towards the woman being older before settling into motherhood. The study also suggests that perhaps they are carrying out their mothering much more efficiently than younger aged mothers.
But why is there this argument?
The feeling really is that older women cannot get around like younger mothers. They are less agile, less flexible and generally less adaptable. The study disagrees with this as they found that older women are more prepared for pregnancy.
Look around at your community. Age is not such a critical actor any more. In fact people seem more concerned with girls waiting till later to become pregnant. Studies now show that pregnancy and mothering is a little more complex than we might realize.
The woman has to be ready emotionally and physically with the kind of support that she needs to raise the child.
Changes in mothering in the last decade
I would like to suggest that there are universal characteristics of mothering.
Over the last decade, the decision to become a mother has taken on a new meaning. There are so many ways to become pregnant. It is also clear that if you become pregnant and decide to enter into mothering then culture is going to be the most critical factor.
We are talking about influencing the life of another person for a number of years. This will be happening voluntarily or involuntarily. Hopefully it is not a chance event.
Mothering is not parenting. We even heard an argument recently that suggested that men can mother. This can be taking it a bit further. However, the assumption is that healthy mothering is keeping a special bond going between child and mother that defines the relationship as dependent, continuous and caring.
It is affected by more than age of the mother, although the way we live in the west nowadays makes us feel that waiting has its advantages. It would seem that giving ourselves more time to plan and arrange our life might well lead to better outcomes in the life of the child.