Do you feel sometimes like you are the worst parent ever?
Well stop it NOW!! Yes there are certain rules of parenting that you have to follow. But come on. All parents go through this difficult stage especially when they have a bright energetic, inquisitive 4 year old. You are not a bad Dad or a bad Mom or even a bad parent. I say that because you are reading this blog. That’s good enough for me.
I remember when I got pregnant the first time. My Mom had passed away and I thought”who am I going to ask for help? Everyone needs help when they are pregnant. And right through their children’s growing up years.
We have all heard the saying “age doesn’t count or age ain’t nothing but a number”. But I think that this is where age matters a lot. The age of the child and the age of the parent.
Let’s talks about 2 reasons why age matters oh so much
1.The age of the parent
If you are a young Mom or Dad no-one expects you to do the right thing. The problem is that they hardly ever give you a chance to find out what you can really do. It’s a pity because if you care for your child you have a feeling of pride. You have a feeling of wanting to do something awesome for your child. A physician I met in the hospital in Dartmouth, told my daughter mothers always know what to do . Always. They instinctively know what is best for their own child
Believe it. Remember that umbilical cord. It carries more than blood. For fathers I am not quite sure but the Good Lord made some sort of a link between father and child that no matter how we fight, it’s always there.
Ask for help if you are not sure what to do. Don’t just watch other parents. They do it their way. The children are no better at homework or are the parents at setting a schedule than you. Those parents just know how to deal with their mistakes when they make them and not repeat them. It’s even better if you have both Dad and Mom to parent together. That feeling of bad Mom probably comes on when you are really tired or you don’t have enough resources like food or clothes or something else. Bad Dad is probably because you can’t be there very night to tell the bedtime story or you can’t see eye to eye with your partner. Don’t let than stop you from parenting. Find a way to keep the child first
We are all at some point in time going through or experiencing things that someone else has experienced and that is why age matters. Your age matters. Get to know people in your age group who are doing the same things you are like parenting, gardening, writing, staying at home, etc. Keep these people close to you so you remember you are not alone in your experiences. At your age stay positive! Whether you are a young parent or an older parent remember there is someone your age doing something similar,. Get to know those persons in your age group, share your experiences. A need for companionship is normal. Get out there and mingle in your age group, you might find worst parents still 😉 (wink).
2. The age of the child
Your child’s age matters. For the preschooler, set up play dates, activities and outings with children close to your child’s age. Not only will your children learn to mix with others, speak and laugh with others, do what others want and not always what they want. You will also be able to see how other kids behave at that age.
I agree with Paul Riser in his book Familyhood where he talks about looking at other people. Each family has its own way of doing things. they also decide what is a bad Mom or a bad parent. Keeping those as your target makes life a whole lot easier especially if you still cnosider yourself a part of your family. In my book I talk about holistic parenting and being able to nurture your children. That means doing what comes natural to your family.
Many other children are doing similar or completely different things than your children. But you may find yourself being thankful for Your little monsters after these outings and patting yourselves on the back for not being the bad Mom or the bad Dad with the worst children!
Soooo go ahead and digest this now,.Age matters but I hope you are beginning to see why you are not the worst parents ever!
Until next time remember to “Create Share and Love”. Ggee.