Recently I met someone. His name is Charlie. He said that suddenly, he realised that he did not like Christmas anymore! We talked for a while and I began to think it couldn’t be just the holiday itself. There was something more, something missing.
Charlie is a 36 year old father of 2 children. The older boy of 11 lives with him while the younger girl of 7 lives with her Mom. Suddenly this year, he felt that no matter how hard he tried to put his heart into the holiday season, Christmas wasn’t happening. Simply, he was nowhere near feeling like how he did when he was growing up.
As he put it, “there is no feeling like being a kid on Christmas morning with that wonderful sense of anticipation and joy that accompanies unwrapping each present under the tree.”
Sound familiar??
Why do we give gifts at Christmas?
I have a feeling that Charles is faced with the reality that as a kid, he gave gifts not because he loved someone special. He gave gifts because he was told to do so on a special day of the year! It’s not strange he might say I don’t enjoy Christmas anymore!
So now he is not ‘doing’ Christmas anymore.
This means no gift giving, no hanging decorations, sending cards, receiving presents. And more importantly, not running around like a crazy person trying to pull off ‘magic’. In other words, all the secular trappings of this special holiday will be no more.
But Charlie is truthful. Many people who give gifts this time of year or have beautifully decorated Christmas trees are non-Christian, just like him. He, however, is going further because he finds it strange to be celebrating a holiday that is saturated with religious significance when he is not religious.
For many lone dads, Christmas can be a difficult time especially if you are non-Christian or have an extended family expecting you to behave like ‘everyone else’. For others single dads like Charlie, each year as they and their children grow older, Christmas seems to have lost a bit of its magic-filled feel. Making this time magical and special is not so easy after all.
Well, there are 2 sides to the story
If you are a single dad with kids, give them the joy you once knew. As they grow older, tell them the 2 sides of the story. Firstly that there is more than simply gift giving and having a joyful time. Secondly, that Christmas is a religious Christian holiday. You, however, never knew this until you became an adult. Introduce the other religions /cultures that celebrate at this time, but don’t let the kids feel too different from other kids around them.
My kids loved Christmas as they grew older and really understood the significance of the season. As adults now, they are able to differentiate between the traditions, the simplistic and classist generalisations and the Christian truth. As even the day is different between cultures and religions, this has given them even more to think about.
I told Charlie that maybe it’s a good time to think about what is important for him, so he could start feeling that Christmas Spirit again. He should keep his self respect in place. He had time to stop that feeling of not liking Christmas anymore. Each one of us should take a moment to make the celebrations reflect the true spirit of Christmas. There really is no need to get caught up in the gifts and how much they cost.
The holiday is one dedicated to making the children remember the birth of Iyesus Christus. That is the origin of the holiday. A Christian event. And in true Christian style it is a holiday that everyone can join in.
You can actively try to do things to remove the pressures from your life over the Christmas season so that you can again feel the joy and magic of Christmas. Try not to say I don’t like Christmas anymore.If you find that Christmas has become overly commercialized, or that people are asking for expensive gifts that you cannot afford, then adjust what you are doing at Christmas. Think about how you are celebrating the Christmas season anyway. If things have changed enough that your old, beloved Christmas traditions simply do not seem the same, then maybe it is time to take over the reins of Christmas and make some new traditions for your new life.