Seasons Greetings everyone. It’s great to be here for our series on Secrets of Resiliency & Believing in You. This was first aired on December 5th and today it is entitled Triumph over Stress. Debbie Pokornik co-hosts the series and she points out that the woman is Mind, Body and Spirit or soul as some people like to think of it. It’s all intertwined. I will separate out a few things which work together toward reducing- stress as you keep Mind, Body and Spirit together.
There is so much I want to share about reducing stress and making stress less severe. So let me get right into it
The first thing I want to mention is the need to have ROUTINES & schedules
When we hear routines we think about lists of what do I have to do today. Today is going to be a little different because as far as I am concerned you are already the queen of things to do in a day . Seriously
I want to talk about routines and schedules. SCHEDULES are those to do lists, those agendas of meetings and appointments that you create each day or each week.
A ROUTINE is the habit that you develop for each day that will make you feel comfortable and well feeling. A routine gives you a sense of being who you are. That’s why we talk about routines because once you have your own routine, just the doing each day helps to keep your stress levels down
You probably have a routine already. Getting up at 5 am, getting breakfast, waking the children and even more important making sure they are awake. And all the other things you do.
But I want to ask today what about you Mom.
Where in this wonderful day is the moment for yourself. Going going. In your daily routine right at the start somewhere before the day begins, have a moment for yourself.
Say to yourself out loud
I am a mother. Now smile. Feel good about what you just said.
I am strong and I love myself. I am being the best person I can be. Say this again
As I live today I live with love for myself
Don’t be in a hurry. Give yourself time to think about what you are saying.
Then think about the key decisions you have to make today. Not tomorrow. Not yesterday but today
While you are doing all this remember to take a deep breath. Right down into your tummy. This keeps your blood pressure in the right place. Think of the word or phrase you will use ( like I feel calm. I know today is gonna be good) to keep you calm today all through the day saying it whenever you feel negative thoughts beginning to intrude. Now you are ready for the rest of your routine as we reducing stress
2 Somewhere in the day take a look at your to-do list. How is it going
And if you find there is something you should have done by 1:00 pm and it is now 3::00 pm…make a note do this before 5:00 pm . Keep calm and keep moving
3 Set up a routine for what happens at the end of your kids’ school day.
People’s days are all different so I cannot tell you what to do. But it must include physical or verbal contact with your kids each day so you know here they are. I know we forgot my child at school in preschool one day. Got a call from the school. I was in shock that this could happen. Stress does funny things to your schedules so you have to have those routines.
Many of you have heard about a visualizer routine for reducing stress which Debbie Pokornik calls the worry container exercise. It’s a great routine but I have a feeling some of you are saying the kind of stress you are having has caused you to seek professional help.
Support networks Professional help
Your support network can be professionals or your personal friends or support group. Can I zero in for a moment on those who need professional help?
Your professional network has the knowledge, the background and the skills to bring you from where you are right now to where you need to be. So even if you feel that you are at your lowest point mentally, physically or emotionally, your professional network has the knowledge base to help quickly and immediately.
There’s nothing wrong with needing professional help to get through each day or each month. Maybe you had a serious accident that left you with a concussion or head trauma, or this is your second pregnancy and there is a lactation crisis. Maybe there are genetic or chemical imbalances which make it necessary for you to seek out help. Maybe there is something amiss with your limbs that make getting around difficult or maybe you and your partner are in marital counselling sessions. All these situations probably call for some professional help
Don’t feel guilty. This is why these people are here. So make sure you get help choosing the person who is working with you towards reducing stress. Don’t just start a session because you were told you have to go. Find out why exactly you have to go and what to expect from the sessions. You need to have a feeling of respect for this person. To help grow this feeling of respect ask others what the session is like and do they do what they are supposed to. Remember you are working together with this professional, together.
The homework they give you please do it. Especially the physiotherapists and those concerned with your diet or your spiritual thinking. It will make life get better so much faster.
Sometimes just balancing how people treat you in your workplace makes you wonder about being there and if perhaps you should be at home all the pros and cons. This kind of stress can lead to some pretty serious symptoms. Be careful not to immediately feel you need professional help. It could be you just need personal support.
Always remember parenting can be learnt. We don’t all have the same knowledge or the same kinds of supports. But we can get better at it every day.